What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
14.06.2025 01:59
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I will be 64.
How does the narcissist react when he realizes you no longer care?
One cannot live in the past .
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Crashed lander looks back at Earth from the moon photo of the day for June 10, 2025 - Space
Put me off passion for life!!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
When she asked me how she looked .
Why didn't Taylor Swift do Taylor Swift (Taylors version)?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
My life is so biszare .
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Comes on , in middle age.
Can I know a love story of a medical student?
I waited trembling.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Can I use the LEG PRESS to build muscle?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Im still living with it.
How can fashion design be used to make a political statement in popular culture, and society?
I had hoped to write a book about this .
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Has your wife or girlfriend ever been felt up in public by a stranger?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I never cut or harmed myself..
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
My family never makes their pension either.
How does Arab culture and values differ from western culture and values?
He was dying to do it , i knew.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I don,t even have a pension.
Why The Simpsons stopped producing Maude Flanders episodes?
She was in good health!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
What would happen if Kakashi and Naruto switched places?
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I was 9 years of age.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Ive learnt so much.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I said to her
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I was very sick at this time too.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
We all went to grammer schools
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He resisted the act ,that day.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
But, we were locked up after school.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I write beautiful poetry .
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
But ive been too sick for many years..
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
She wouldn,t have been !
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
This is soul school!.
What did i know ?
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
We were not on the streets..
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I was scared of men, in general
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I did it because my mum asked me too!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
The only rule us 5 kids had .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I think the readers, may guess!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Why did i forgive my father ?
As i do to all so called friends.?
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
She loved him until the end.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I have no regrets .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Would this be the day?
So whats the point in blame.
So, i spoilt her more .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She married twice! .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Was to survive, this bastard.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I could never make a relationship work though!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Who then, do I blame.?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
It was going to be , some day.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I was seconnd youngest,
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
She found it foreign!.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
But it wasn’t much.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
He knew the spot.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
All the time i was locked up.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Especially a lifetime of it.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
And i lived it daily.